Tuesday, October 14, 2008

What would Dad have done?

I really don't think it happened because we have had full houses nearly every night for two weeks and are losing our enthusiasm for guests. In the past eight years, we've had only a small number of needy, messy, inconsiderate people. Most of our guests have been wonderful, caring, interesting ones we would definitely like to see again. When people ask if we ever have "bad" guests, I used to reply, "only one," a distant relation on Paul's side who was extremely rude to us and other guests. Even Paul's mother agreed that the relative in question should be encouraged not to return.

I was really surprised to encounter the guest we had recently, an ordinary, garden variety bigot who was proud of it. Over breakfast, he decided to instruct some foreign guests in what he believes are at the root of America's problems. I could not believe my ears - and these foreigners listened in rapt attention - as he noted that African Americans have caused all of our problems. And he did use the term "African American," but rather one that went out of fashion in the 1960's. He said that they abuse "the system" by expecting a free ride on government benefits. He went on to describe Sherman's march to the sea, noting that it did not focus on the right target. I was so upset that I fled the dining room and busied myself with linens, dishes, and whatever else I could find.

But his diatribe did not end at breakfast. The foreigners wanted to take photos of us all and of the house. As they finally left, Mr. Racist told them to remember the root of all of our problems as they continued on their travels. With that, he plopped down in the livingroom to wait for his wife to get ready to leave. I went up to our room to sew until they left. I kept thinking about what my father would have done in that situation. I didn't want to make the foreign guests uncomfortable or cause a scene. I considered following them out to their car and explaining that not all Americans feel the same way, but I was not sure they would understand even though their English was fairly good.

I know my father would have exploded with anger at the breakfast table. He most likely would have told the man to leave immediately. But of course, such a person would never have been invited to my parents' house or, for that matter, my own. Businesspeople must sometimes put up with despicable customers in order to make a living. I continue to wish I had done more in this situation, and look forward to talking with Dad about it.

2 comments:

Cathi Wilken said...

Hi Marianne:

There are people like that all over the world. And you just saw that rule proved.

I've had that situation, too, and not known what to do. Inside I scream at this foul-mouthed bigot, and outside I don't want to be rude.

The day after, I always wish I had stood up for what I believed. But I didn't. And again. Sometimes I think we Northerners are too polite.

May you have no more of them.

Cathi Wilken

Marianne said...

Thanks, Cathi, and I hope all is well with you!
MK